People have always said the 20s are when a person really discovers themselves but what happens when plans don’t go as well, planned? How do you discover yourself when someone else is depending on you to lead them in the right direction?
When I was much younger, I had a plan. I had an ideal time for everything. I wanted to be done with University by the time I’m 21. I wanted to be married by 24 and have my first child by 26. I am turning 25 in 6 months and my graduation from University is in 7 months. My son is turning 3 in exactly 3 months and I probably won’t be married to my boyfriend until I’m 29. See how my plans just didn’t work out? In the midst of all this, I thought I would have discovered myself, I would have an identity as to just WHAT I am. I am a lot of things right now and it’s hard to pinpoint just WHO I am in all of it.
A Mother. I had my son very much unplanned at the age of 21 and the journey to discovering myself was very much put aside because I had a little one who needed me. My son gave me the ‘mother’ label so that should be just what I am but I refuse to just be known as a mother. I should be more than that. The journey of being a mother has taught me a lot of things about myself and others around me that I never knew about and one of them being that I lack patience and you NEED patience when you have a child.
A Student. University is the place that a lot of people discover themselves but unluckily for me, it didn’t happen. At University, all I did was learn. I didn’t have the opportunity to go out and see what my course had to offer. I was too busy being a mother. My life as a student consisted of me going to University, attending my classes then going back home. I am called a student but I honestly can’t related as one.
A Girlfriend. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and I will say it’s thanks to him and his encouragement that I developed and grew as a woman. I absolutely love my relationship, however, I refuse to be defined by my relationship.
That’s honestly all the ‘labels’ I can think of as to WHO I am but I don’t want to be defined by those things alone. Sure, it’s what made me, me today but it’s not who I am. I still have years to go before I’m 3o and start my mid-life crisis but I do hope that by then, I can define myself by my successes.
To you all, do you already know who you are or are you still on the journey to find out? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter.